01/06/26 :: Aimless ramblingsThis is just a post of rambling over how I feel in current times, it's unresearched and overly pretentious but what else is a blog for than screaming in to the wind?
Recently, I've become more aware that we're backsliding in to an era of anti-intellectualism propelled by the rise in AI. Even beyond the disgusting environmental damages made by the technology that's apparently 'here to stay' despite it actively killing us, the reliance on it so quickly in it's short time here speaks to the change in people. We live in an age of comfort where even the briefest bit of friction is seen as unacceptable, dopamine force-fed minute after minute that the brain cannot spend a second in discomfort, and that breeds insecurity.
The anti-intellectualism truly stems from the insecurity because people now cannot stand to be bad at things. Dude-bros on Twitter cannot stand being less of an artist than everyone else so they claim AI to be art because they told it what to make. They cannot stand being unable to imagine and create and insecurity leads to the desire to rectify by making it easy. I do worry for the future beyond just the lack of drinking water in coming times when people's brains do atrophy. Of course, it is too early to know but the brain being a muscle which is sorely being underused by so many because writing an essay on your own is 'hard' does leave me wondering if there will be a rise in Alzheimer's. Lifestyle is part of the cause in decline beyond just genetic predispositions after all.
Human's by nature are lazy and insecure which gives these multi-billion dollar corporations the easy in to infect the lives of all. I truly fucking hate AI, which I don't think is a unique sentiment on the indie web. It encroaches more and more on my life that I can't help but have these thoughts and spew them on the page - this isn't the first time I've written out my feelings even if they have little to back them beyond fury. But I think I have a right to be angry. Every time I see one of those people saying 'this is how people acted when the computer was created' truly cannot see the detriment as a whole this will have on society. Paired with the backslide in to right-wing ideologies worldwide and the prevalence of fascism, it's a terrifying time to be alive.
This all seems quite the doomer rhetoric and I apologise if anybody reads this and thinks me some fatalistic asshole - which I am at times - but I do have some hope the bubble will pop. I have seen such beautiful resistance by creatives and the general public alike, I have hope in humanity even if the terrifying 10% are the loudest at the moment.
God, I miss the mid-to-late 2010s era of woke so badly sometimes.
I am taking up researching and writing as a more frequent hobby of mine so eventually these thoughts might be condensed in to something more coherent - who knows.
07/04/26 :: Heed my warning.This is a warning to my future self and any of those unfortunate enough to be in higher education currently reading this blog in the middle of nowhere on the internet: never, ever, leave an essay to the day before.
I have a media law essay due in tomorrow at 1pm and the first draft has only been completed 24 hours before. That doesn't sound bad, right? At least if it wasn't an essay that I have had about a month to do so. Yet, somehow, this is the most creative I have felt in the past few months. I have endless ideas of things I want to write and draw and make for this website with little to no time. It always comes around during exam season when I have the littlest amount of time.
It's like some sort of curse, but I'm certain it's just the innate human urge to be doing anything besides writing about the CM/Rec (2022) 16 on Combating Hate Speech by the Council of Europe at any given moment. Truly the most boring piece of soft-law regulation ever published along with the all the academic articles that reference it.
05/04/26 :: Inconsistency is a form of consistency!It's been awhile since I've written, oops. I did abandon this site for awhile because I was overall unhappy with how it looked and the lack of direction. But I am back with a vengeance! An indie web inspired vengeance.
I became very inspired browsing other people's sites and deciding that I was in the mood to start practising radical acceptance of myself. I am not cringe and I have much creativity to share with the world, and by extension, the web! So this is the new and improved Patchwork HQ, though I do like this blog page too much to ever properly change it.
My life hasn't changed too much since the last day I posted, I am still in law school and struggling deeply (actively ignoring an essay I have due in 4 days as I write this, but it's ok). I have lost some friendships and gained them, but I fear that is just part of adulthood I am slowly becoming more and more adjusted to as time goes on. 2026's theme is adjustment! Learning to grow in what environments given. My inspiration is a dandelion growing in the crack in the pavement outside my front door at home.
Just made a little collage inspired by zombiegrrrrl's January wrap on Substack! Going home for reading week meant I had absolutely no access to Neocities since I am physically incapable of remembering passwords. But I'm back! Back at my dear PC where I can stare longingly at the Dispatch Steam page without buying it. Broke student yearning for video games, more common than you think.
I'm working towards trying to be less brainrotted. More reading even though I am very inconsistent with it (still currently reading Foundation after a month with half left to go, lol). Foundation and Shuggie Bain are my current reads - Shuggie Bain specifically being for my book club! Young Mungo by Douglas Stuart is my absolute favourite book of all time so I will never complain about reading another Stuart. Joining Book Club is a big step for me I feel in getting out more instead of rotting in my flat. I write more now too! Currently focused on a long term project of a modern AU Dragon Age fanfic actually inspired by Stuart's writing style.
Also started an album a day notebook in hopes of discovering more music. I like having my little pocket notebook with silly logs in there. Gives me something new to indulge in when wandering through the city to my classes.
Also trying to be more consistent with going my classes, but I will believe it when it happens. Today being one of those times, even if I hate Tort tutorials.
Finally getting around to working on my site more, which is a bit of a lie. I'm using a lot of this as an excuse to avoid some of my university work. It's the third week of my 2nd year of university for law and still haven't gotten a full timetable so there's so many gaps in my time! So much reading to do, but none of it matters but it also does matter yet it doesn't? It's very confusing on what they want us to do right now, so I'd rather try to figure out how to code a webpage instead, lol.
Personally, I'm so happy to have discovered Neocities and starting to learn how to code pages by picking and choosing templates. This site is a customised version of the Vaporeon by itinere to fit my personal style (love tweed too much to not use it). I don't know if customising is the most educational but I feel like I'm getting smarter somehow. Not to be one of those people, but I really do wish I was born earlier so I could have been around for the era of personal sites being the norm instead of the conglomerate social media sites now. Oh, to have lived in the early 2000s with a disgustingly over customised site where I can ramble like a madman.
Coding has taken up a bit of a space where writing used to be since I've been stuck in a slump for awhile. I really miss being able to write so so much just off the cuff - but I'm also very aware that what I used to write was not the best. I'm going to attempt to write more often, I want to post more fanfics! Check me out on AO3, I'll be hopefully posting more Dragon Age or even some Foundation fanfics soon when I actually lock in instead of drifting in the wind multitasking everything.
2025 ENTRIES 24/11/25 :: Silly collage
07/11/25 :: Long time, no see
15/10/25 :: Things that've happened this month
14/10/25 :: Ramble
This blog's more just to dump my thoughts, if you can't tell lmao. It might become more coherent, it might now. Who knows!
